HOW TO SOLVE THE BEDBUG PROBLEM

Those that read my blog know that I usually write about spiritual topics, but this is an exception. My Goal with this post is to help the poor and afflicted.

First, let me explain what started me thinking about bed bugs.

One day last summer I returned to my house and noticed two complete mattresses and box springs thrown out of the apartment building next door. One of them was leaning on the fence that separates the two properties. Now, it don’t take no mental heavyweight to figger out they had a bed bug problem. (Yes, I know its bad English, but I just like the sound of it) The next day there appeared a third set.

So, I got some bug spray and just about soaked the grass between the mattresses and my building (don’t bother telling me I shouldn’t). Anyway, I was not invaded and had no problem. However, it did start me thinking about just how I would approach the problem if my house were to be infected.

As I studied bed bugs, I found them to be quite tough. My first thought was to soak the house down with poison, but that might be almost as hard on me as the bugs.

My second thought was to poison the bugs by poisoning their food supply. WAIT A MINUTE, THAT WOULD BE ME!!! Yes, I know the regular readers of my spiel wonder at this bit of sanity, but I really did think of it.

Anyway, I realized that the secret to eradicating bed bugs was (are you ready for this) I AM THE BAIT!          

So, if I surround myself with a trap that would kill or capture the bugs, I would not only sleep well while defeating the bugs, but I also would not have to destroy any of my possessions. I am not a rich man, so the thought of replacing my bedding (adjustable air mattress, which by the way, I highly recommend) and anything else, was not appealing to me.

My first idea, and still the best, was to remove the covers from my mattress, throw a sheet or type of covering over it. On the bottom edge of the covering, sew a grid all the way around it. Connect the grid to a bug zapper, so that any bug that wanted dinner (me) would have to crawl over the grid and be electrocuted.

There is a need for such a product and I think one could acquire some worldly wealth by designing and manufacturing it. It should be no giant task for someone, but more of a task than I want. I do not need another career, nor do I want wealth. I wouldn’t bother even writing this post, except the world, in my opinion, would be better off without bed bugs pestering people. I might add that it should be easy to sell the product to hotels and motels. I give up any rights to the idea. As a matter of fact, I think it was your idea first.

Well, that product is not yet on the market and so my mind would not rest. I thought about those who are pestered by those pesky varmints now and cannot wait on someone to design and make a cure.

Then I thought that if I had bed bugs right now, I would not want to wait until I made the best way to rid me of the problem either. At my speed, it would be months before the trap was complete.

Then I thought of another trap: not as good and clean as the first, but still effective. If I were to throw a sheet over the bed, so any bugs in the mattress would have to crawl under the sheet and then around the edge and up the outside of the sheet in order to get to me (dinner) and I placed a barrier of flypaper completely around the sheet any bug would be, shall we say, stopped in its tracks.

The second method would require carefully protecting the flypaper, as it must be in place long enough to trap any bugs that gorged them selves just before the trap was put in place and any bugs that are a result of eggs.

If you have any questions about how any of this would be accomplished, please ask someone else. I already said I do not want another career. If you see a problem that would cause the system not to work, then post a comment. It is not my intention to cause anyone to work on a project that is flawed from the start.

5 Responses to HOW TO SOLVE THE BEDBUG PROBLEM

  1. get rid of bed bugs yourself…

    [...]HOW TO SOLVE THE BEDBUG PROBLEM « Bible study by a student[...]…

  2. crownstarT says:

    well, I would have to say not so much the cover as the flooring.
    BEFORE first sign of break-out or invasion :

    STEP ONE : ISOLATE BED OFF THE WALLS !!!

    STEP TWO : ENCASE BOTH MATTERESS AND BOXBOARD IN BUG-PROOF ZIPPERED ENCASING LININGS.

    STEP THREE : GO TO FEED OR PLANT OR HARDWARE STORE AND GET SOME DIAMETRIOUS EARTH FOSSIL FLOUR TO SPREAD ALL OVER THE PLACE, ESPECIALLY IN CRACKS CREVISES.

    STEP FOUR : ELIVATE YOUR BED WITH STEP-UPS on the legs.

    STEP FIVE : PLACE SLIPPERY SCOTCH TAPE OR PACKING TAPE ALL AROUND PERIMITER OF THE WALLS , to prevent them from climbing up the walls to the cieling to drop down onto your isolated bed !

    STEP SIX : apply talcum or baby powder to make thier claws hooks have no footing to be able to cross over the barrier to prevent wall-to-ceiling drop-ins !

    STEP SEVEN : REPLACE ALL BED FRAMES WITH ALL METAL !!

    STEP EIGHT : attach four electic toy swatters on the bottom of the footings of the bed somehow.

    STEP NINE : Place build your own CO2 detectors underneight your bed.

    STEP TEN : PUT ON YOUR EAR PLUGS ANd enjoy a good night sleep ! :)

  3. astudent says:

    crownstarT,

    I might add, be very careful at what height you attach the four toy electric swatters. If you attach them to low they will strike the floor and walk your bed right out the door.

    However, if that happens and the swatters are fast enough you might be able to out run the bed bugs.

    He, he, he

  4. Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Taking the
    time and actual effort to generate a top notch article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  5. Kentish Town information about get rid of roaches withouth chemicals

    HOW TO SOLVE THE BEDBUG PROBLEM | Bible study by a student

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