For the last three years I have been taking care of my mother. She was ninety six years old and in good health for most of those years. Only the last three years has she needed help and that only because her mind was failing. She took good care of me when I needed it, no matter my age or what I needed she was always there for me, so even though I loved her, I also owed her.
Mother had been baptized when she was a young lady but she seem to have little faith and it worried me until the Spirit within me led me to 2 Tim 2: 11-13 (NIV) “Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself” and I was relieved and blessed by God.
She fell and broke her hip about a month ago and that required a hip replacement. There was no choice as she could not stand the pain of lying in bed with every movement resulting in intense pain.
Her mind was so far gone that she could not understand why everything was happening. She only knew that everyone was hurting her. She was forced to eat when she didn’t want too. Forced to move when it hurt and forced to take medicine. When she could finally get to sleep someone would come wake her up and put this thing on her arm that squeezed it until it hurt. In plain words her life was without any joy and she just couldn’t understand what was happening.
Friday she began to have difficulty breathing. She was put on oxygen and given an IV to hydrate her, but she continued to fail. By Saturday it was apparent that she was close to death, but she continued to gasp for every breath until early Sunday morning she was just too weak to take another breath.
I prayed that God would heal her. Actually I have been praying for her health for more than three years, but God choose not to restore her health. I could not pray that God would take her life as I believe life is sacred. After all that is what Jesus gave his life for: that we might live. To pray that someone should die after all God has done that we might live just could not be right, but to pray that someone’s suffering be stopped or that God would demonstrate His power to heal would be right. But God did not heal mother, nor did He stop her suffering as soon as I wanted.
Now the Bible says that we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose and I do believe the Bible, so I knew that somehow the suffering of my mother was not only for my good, but for hers also. Knowing this I ask God for the understanding of this suffering and I received and I understand this very personal lesson.
You see God and I experienced the same kind of event. Mother died of asphyxiation and that is the same cause of death that results from crucifixion. Now, I do not posses the power to stop anyone from dying from anything, but God does. If I understand my lesson it is though God had the power to remove His Son from the cross it would have resulted in the permanent death of all mankind. Both God and I had to watch as our loved ones suffer and die, because His plan could not be completed if He intervened.
God loves my mother even more than I do and God had to watch her suffer and die along with me. Actually God has to watch all of those He loves die and that makes my pain, when compared to His, very minuscule: though to me it was very large.
It is times such as this that our faith is tested and I know that I passed this test. I will miss mother until I am reunited with her in Heaven and until then I am encouraged in the knowledge that she is already in the presence of the Lord and suffers no more.
Once more my mother has given me a blessing. She always put my best interest before her own and even in her death God has once more allowed her to be used to teach and bless me.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.